Know your tuning

This blog is about my journey through a text called ‘The Practice of Adaptive Leadership’, (Heifetz, Grashow, Linsky, 2009). 

Knowing ‘your tuning’ is understanding those childhood experiences, genetic dispositions, cultural background, gender and loyal identifications with various groups that affect you both in your personal life and in the workplace.

Heifetz and Linsky describe these as strings that vibrate continuously, communicating to those around you who you are, what’s sensitive and what’s important to you. Understanding these, similar to my last blog, allows you to respond rather than react.

Heifetz and Linksy use the example of conflict. If you don’t mind or enjoy conflict you may raise the level of conflict to the point that it is unproductive and people shut down. I can operate in conflict but as identified in the adaptive leadership text, my strict parenting ensured I don’t relish in it. In fact the level of conflict (yelling, shouting and swearing amongst colleagues) whilst not directed at me but observed daily at a NSW financial institution, ensured I found an alternative role within my probationary period. It just wasn’t the environment I wanted to be in, yet those within it seemed fuelled by it and continued to thrive for the short term at least.

Knowing your triggers is the key and its being mindful (or getting onto the balcony in Heifetz and Linsky terms) when somebody ‘hits a nerve’ or a ‘hot button’ which is a relatively common experience. Observing and analysing these interactions (usually accompanied by behavioural changes) will allow insight into your tuning which in turn will allow a response versus a reaction next time you’re triggered.

Heifetz and Linsky believe there are two categories of triggers which they call ‘hungers’ and ‘carrying other people’s water’.

Hungers can apparently make you particularly vulnerable and relate to three pairs of normal personal human needs that if unfulfilled can become difficult to manage:

1. Power and control
2. Affirmation and importance
3. Intimacy and delight

Trying to carry other people’s water is equivalent to carrying other people’s hopes, needs, expectations and fears. Heifetz and Linsky often see this in our Not For Profit sector where people are often burnt out and overwhelmed as a result.

This is explained by the way, from the time we are born other people load us up with their expectations. Useful when you are young as a source of wisdom, encouragement and guidance, but as we mature, other’s hopes can take the form of unresolved problems which can be impossible to resolve and far less in your control than resolving your own.

Responding rather than reacting puts you back in the driver’s seat. You purposefully choose how you respond to your needs and the needs of others as their leader. It allows you to help other’s manage their own hopes, needs, expectations and fears rather than disempowering them by shouldering them yourself.

This blog is about my journey through a text called ‘The Practice of Adaptive Leadership’, (Heifetz, Grashow, Linsky, 2009). This is the seminal text in the Leaders Institute of SA’s flagship program the Governor’s Leadership Foundation (GLF). As Director of Programs my role is to develop programs and evolve the GLF to meet our mission of creating wiser leaders.